Elevator Etiquette, or making the most of an awkward situation
Awkward situations. Life is full of them. And like it or not, there is nothing you can do to avoid them. So next time, take my advice and flaunt it! Trust me, you’ll come away with MUCH better memories.
Below I have listed many different scenarios that are bound to be awkward, and you may do what you please with these new outlooks, whether you want to diffuse or add to the awkwardness of the situation.
Elevators: elevator etiquette is something that never fails to amuse me. Think of it like this: here you are, standing in what is basically a mobile closet with a bunch of strangers, some of which have a complete lack of sense of personal space, etc. The more crowded, the more awkward it becomes, until your basically standing on each others toes. Oh yes that’s completely normal, to be basically vertically spooning with everyone around you. Oh, and no talking whatsoever. I’m mean, what are you going to say, “Lovely elevator this is, right? Notice the keen scent of B.O. wafting off the man in the corner that everyone is trying to ignore. Oh, and that little kid just wiped his nose on my pants leg. Charming.”
Hot tubs: Think of taking a very hot bath with a bunch of strangers, mostly naked. And there, my friend, is the essence of being in a hot tub. Or course I’m referring to ones mostly in hotel pools, where you never know who you’ll end up bathing with, or what your exactly is cooking with your skin in that publicly polluted water. Saunas kinda go along with that too…like your sitting there sweating with a bunch of strangers in a perfect silence…wearing towels. Not to mention absorbing your neighbors evaporated sweat back into your body through the pores on your face.
Public showers/restrooms: what can I say here that hasn’t already been said before? Awkward as all get-out. You don’t know who’s been there before you! You don’t know how many rapes have happened in that very stall! The whole thing is terribly disconcerting.
“Camping”: who dubbed spending the night in an RV at some nasty “campground” with deteriorating, rusted fire pits and broken playground equipment, as “camping”? That’s not camping. That’s condensed living. You cannot truly “camp” in a fricken RV equipped with a kitchenette, two bedrooms, and a SHOWER, for gawds sake. You want to camp? Go to Colorado with a tent. Cook your food over an open flame. Sleep on the cold hard ground and get poison ivy and pneumonia. I think fake camping is something that exists solely in America too, and why? Why do Americans like to sleep what is basically a trailer house with a motor attached to it? Well maybe we find comfort in the fact a McDonald’s is only a short drive away.
These are just a few things in society that everyone else has dubbed as “normal”, that really bug me. I think we need to stand back, take a look at ourselves, and wonder “What the hell are we doing?!” Once we figure that out, I think we’ll be good to go.
~SJM
Below is an list that kind of goes along with my elevator theme…I found it hilarious XD
Through the Eyes of the Cynically Observant 